Category Archives: Jenny’s Blog

Paying it Forward and Giving Back!

Just a few of the amazing Mentors for the WINGS Program, Rutgers University, NJ

Six years ago, I joined a wonderful group of senior colleagues as a mentor to young women.  WINGS (Women Investing in and Guiding Students) is a Wells Fargo sponsored program and is a very successful college-to-career program at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, NJ. After my first year I was asked to assume the role of Co-ordinator.  I was excited and honored and it turned out to be one of the most fulfilling roles I have been able to engage in and perform.

The program partners professional women with a sophomore, junior or senior female student who is accepted into the program for the academic year. It incorporates panel discussions, workshops (love and money-understanding credit was a favorite), career preparation activities as well as pre-arranged meetings for individual connections agreed upon by each Mentee and Mentor. Not only is this an opportunity for Mentors to share their expertise and give guidance, but it morphs into a “give and take” chance for both participators to learn from each other.  Students are able to share their thoughts and talents with their mentors and broaden the perspective “according to millennials” through which the mentors view the world.  It is eye-opening and rewarding and an absolute technological benefit for the mentors!!

Rolihlahla (Nelson) Mandela affectionately known as Madiba

Today this beloved Icon celebrated his 100^thbirthday!  At the age of 12 he dreamed of contributing to the freedom of his people from segregation known as “apartheid” in South Africa.   He was given the name Nelson by a teacher, in accordance with the custom that schoolchildren should have “Christian” names.

I had heard of him, I had read about him, how he practiced law and eventually was incarcerated for 27 years. I was intrigued by his story of rebellion and imprisonment and his unending quest for justice.  On February 11, 1990 he was finally released.  The picture of his “walk to freedom” is permanently etched in my heart and mind!  However, I was only able to view it after the fact for a very personal reason.  It was at exactly the same time, 3 o’ clock precisely when he was released, that Alan, the love of my life, was instituted as the first non-white rector at a predominantly white church in Cape Town!

I recall how our extended family all sat around our tiny television after the service and reception had ended.  We were spell-bound and silent as we listened to this soft-spoken man speak of his joy upon his release and heeded his call to promote peace and love.  The jubilant crowds carried me along as people danced and shouted and cried “happy” tears.

Upon his election in 1994 as our first democratically-elected president, he set up the truth and reconciliation committee chaired by Archbishop Desmond Tutu.  I was honored to be present at the swearing-in ceremony. I had been selected to escort 15 students from a local school where I was a senior teacher.  A magical moment happened when this amazing leader, glanced up at the balcony where we were seated and smiled broadly, waved and said hello.  It felt as if he was smiling just at me!  I felt tears run down my cheeks and I knew that this was a moment I would never forget! I had been irreversibly “touched” by love, humility and peace!

Many years later and continents away, I still remember it with awe and wonder!  There has never been someone who has moved me to choose kindness and joy, as this caregiver of forgiveness and love!  His legacy will always inspire me to be the best I can be in all aspects of my life!  He truly epitomized that love comes more naturally to the human heart, and reminded us that love is taught, and hate has to be learnt! (as so eloquently shared by President Obama).

Happy 100^thbirthday Madiba!  You continue to be a beacon of hope and peace!  I revere and honor you and thank you for enriching my life in such a memorable way!

Jenny Dennis – July 18, 2018

Phenomenal persons and cherished moments that shaped my life

It is my opinion that coaching stems from the belief that we have the answers and resolve within ourselves. A coach just happens to be the person who unlocks that potential.  We have the tool box, we just need more and/or different tools and the direction to use those tools.

Mentoring however involves a lasting relationship that supports growth and development of someone who is less experienced and knowledgeable.  The mentor usually has one or more areas of expertise and the mentee must want to learn and benefit from this opportunity which always entails communication.

There are differences between the two:

Coaching is task-oriented whereas mentoring is relationship-oriented!

Coaching is usually short-term, mentoring is long-term

Coaching is more likely performance driven, mentoring is development driven

Coaching focuses primarily on ability, mentoring on attitude

Coaching is usually around a specific objective, mentoring has an open and evolving agenda.

Both roles enhance skills, knowledge and performance and also inspires respect as a role model! In some instances, they intersect each other and enrich the lives of the recipient in a profound and insightful manner! I was fortunate enough to be the beneficiary of many of these “coinciding” gifts!

My maternal grandma had a great influence on my life.  She died when I was 30 years of age and all these years later, her voice continues to be a constant echo in my spirit.  I catch myself saying “my grandma said” so often that it has become a check-in moment during some conversations with my husband and adult children: “is that you or is that your grandma speaking?” Actually, I do not mind the teasing because it is a convenient excuse if I don’t want to own the moment!

Beside grandma who positively impacted my life, there were also well-intentioned persons who colored my world rather negatively.  Thank goodness that grandma used to say: “every lesson, good or bad, teaches you something about yourself, so identify what it is and learn from it.

I will be sharing experiences from various persons who have inspired me. They shaped my world as they expanded my opinions, my filters and my views.   They showed me how to funnel my judgments and take a stand in a compelling way with true conviction, thoughtfulness and responsibility.  Many of them groomed me to stand up for my beliefs and work at my disbeliefs. Many of them were either a coach or a mentor and a few were interconnected, but I also had a few who set off a spark within me by their very existence and zest for life!

I am forever indebted to the role-models who walked and continue to walk, beside me.  I hope you will join me, over the next few weeks, as I acknowledge and express my gratitude to those who inspired, informed, encouraged, nurtured, moved, motivated and challenged me.

Jenny Dennis – July 11, 2018